It's That Time Again . . .

This time of year is so difficult for me. As the air starts to change and become more crisp and I start to want to wear socks again it also means I'm back to work. Monday is the day and I must say that it is not nearly as bad as the first time I went back after having a year with the boys. But, it's still bad. It is a dull knot in my stomach, the wondering thought I can't seem to get rid of and the feeling I need to do as many fun activities as possible before summer ends. I call it the, "Back to school crabbies". I think my dad was on to it when he would talk about my mom being "crazy" when she went back to school. I didn't really know what he meant, but now that I have to go back to school I know what he was talking about! It's like my freedom is being taken way. Ok, kinda dramatic, but it's how I feel. It's even worse having Chase and Owen go to daycare. As much as I like our daycare it's still daycare. It's still me away from my boys for most of the day. It still stinks.

We've had such a fun and explorative summer. The boys have loved to play with their Cars 2 cars, play on their new play set, run to the garden with mommy, dig for sssss (worms), bugs, snakes, swim, dig in sand, etc.  And I've loved being by their side doing it all.

On the other hand, the crisp air that blows in always brings with it the excitement of a new school year, which is something I love. I do love to see all the little faces get off the bus, in their new clothes, new backpacks, eager to see their friends and find out if their teacher is really as nice as everyone said. It is exciting, no matter how hard it is.

I still find myself tearing up multiple times a day, having to choke back a small sob, saying a prayer to God to get me through, as he always does.  I still find myself being very selfish with our time, wanting to have enough family time to create memories and just be together.  I'm sure as I drop off the boys on Monday I will cry, and as I walk to my car I will cry, but I guess that's just part of being a Mommy.  Praise God for that!